Of Attractive Blondes and Pretty Boys
by nattieb
Summary: Swapping stories was meant to be a harmless way to pass the time. Unfortunately for the Doctor, he forgot who he was dealing with- Rose Tyler and Donna Noble. Follows JE with some minor changes.
1. Chapter 1

This was co-written with Heather916.

This story was meant to be a one shot. Something simple and easy and done in a couple weeks. It has now grown into a 15 page document with additions and edits continuing. We finally have decided to post this little story, in hopes that we will finish those edits soon. The story is written. It has been for about a month now, okay maybe three weeks, so updates should be pretty close together.

"Oi, I am knackered," Donna Noble stated to the empty kitchen, clutching a mug of coffee, and dropping into a chair at the table in the TARDIS kitchen. It had been an exhausting past 24 hours, what with defeating Davros and the Daleks, saving the universe, and saying goodbye to Captain Jack, Sarah Jane, and Martha. And, of course, there was Rose. Somehow, despite all the Doctor's protestations that it was impossible, Rose'd found a way back to this universe and the Doctor's arms. Donna couldn't help but grin widely as the objects of her reflection walked into the kitchen together, hand in hand. Donna hoped that Rose could manage to do most things one-handed, because she strongly suspected that the Doctor was not going to be releasing his hold on her anytime soon.

Donna nodded her head to the two steaming mugs of coffee waiting for them on the table, and they moved to sit across from her, each giving her a grateful smile. There was a brief comfortable silence as they looked at each other, before they all burst into gales of relieved laughter.

"My mates back home will never believe me if I try to tell them what just happened." Donna laughed through her tears. "What have you been up to, Donna? Oh, this and that. Helped free an alien telepathic race from slavery. Destroyed an entire parallel universe that was created around me. Oh, and remember when the Earth moved position in the universe? Well, I helped defeat that homicidal maniac and return the Earth to where it belongs. Ha! They'd lock me up and throw away the key!"

Rose nodded sagely. "They'd throw me in the cell with you." She raised a hand and began ticking off fingers as she recounted some of her adventures with the Doctor. "Running from werewolves in 19th-century Scotland. Witnessing the Earth exploding in the year 10 billion. Destroying the Mighty Jagrafess, that great big blob that was controlling the Earth's news feed. Then of course there is the statue of me in the London Museum. Yep, we'd be sectioned for sure."

The Doctor was laughing good-naturedly with them but stopped and felt his smile slowly falter when both women turned their attentions to him.

"What?" he asked cautiously.

"Well, come on, your turn," Donna prodded. "Let's hear your short list of crazy adventures. And I do mean short. With your crazy life, you could keep us here for weeks on end."

"Uhm…" the Doctor stammered. "I don't know. Besides, most of my recent adventures have included one of the two of you." He shrugged and took a sip of his coffee.

Donna took a biscuit from the tray in the center of the table and chucked it at the Doctor's head. Her throw was right on mark and the biscuit left a dusting of crumbs in his hair, which he indignantly brushed out after making a noise of extreme annoyance.

"You're supposed to play along, Doctor." Donna reprimanded. "We've just listed all these extreme adventures and you're supposed to try and top us."

"Am I?" The Doctor asked in a tone of genuine confusion. "What's the point of the game?"

"Nothing, you dumbo, other than swapping some good stories with good mates. Tell us something crazy that you've done, like crossing the Atlantic with Christopher Columbus or something."

"But I didn't cross the ocean with Columbus," the Doctor stated. Then he grinned before adding, "At least, not yet. We could though, you know. What do you say, Rose? Fancy meeting Columbus? Could be fun."

At a warning glare from Donna, he hastily continued. "Ah yes, well, no Santa Maria for me – yet – but I have been on the Titanic. Twice, actually. Though not the same Titanic, because really, who'd want to take that voyage twice? Though, the second trip might have been worse than the first, in its own way. Though 'worse' is a relative term when talking…." He trailed off at the amused chuckles from Rose and Donna. "Right. Rambling. Okay, so… story. My second trip on the Titanic is actually when I met your grandfather, Donna."

"Wizard!" Donna exclaimed. "Do tell. Gramps never did give me the whole story."

The Doctor looked oddly at her for a moment, as if deciding whether he had a choice in whether to tell the story or not. To help him make his decision, Donna leaned forward in her chair, rested her forearms on the table, and put on her best 'don't mess' attitude before saying, "Come on, space man, out with it."

The Doctor sighed and rolled his eyes and Donna knew she had won. As he started speaking, she smiled and leaned back in her chair again to enjoy the story. He was so easy.


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor felt the story of how he met Wilf wasn't going to be terribly interesting or exciting to them, and there were certain things he'd rather Rose knew nothing about. Deciding that Rose didn't need to know about Astrid, or that either woman needed to know the details of how many lives had been lost that night, he started on what he was sure would be a rather boring tale. As he told it though, he found that he was enjoying the retelling.

"So there we were," the Doctor declared, adding another layer of drama to his voice as he continued the story. Though he hadn't been keen on participating in this "game", the gob was running at full speed now and he found he was starting to enjoy it. He had finally dropped Rose's hand so he could use both of his while telling the story but he made sure that he hadn't moved too far away from his impossible girl. "It was Christmas Eve on the streets of London and the city was empty. Completely empty. Well, to say I was surprised would have been an understatement. There was one man there though," he continued, darting a glance at Donna. "One man ready to stand for Queen and country."

"So that's when you met, on Christmas Eve." Donna interrupted, her smile growing brighter. "Brilliant. Gramps kept going on about aliens, teleports, and a falling Titanic. Thought he was off his rocker, I did. Should have known it was you. Trouble always seems to follow you."

Donna smiled at the pair of them and he casually reached for Rose's hand again and gave it a squeeze, no longer content with merely having her at his side but needing to hold her, to remind himself that she was back with him.

He was about to continue his tale when Donna's eyes widened as they fixed on Rose. "Oh, My. God!" she exclaimed. "You were there too!" She pronounced this with such confidence that the Doctor found himself momentarily speechless.

"No, Donna, I…" Rose started, clearly bewildered at Donna's declaration.

"Gramps said that Mr. Lord of Time there," she inclined her head towards the Doctor, "was there with a blonde woman." Donna paused for a moment as another thought struck her, and the Doctor felt his heart tighten at the connections he suspected she was making. "Though how could that be? It was only last Christmas… Oh wait!"

She turned to the Doctor, and he resisted the irrational desire to cringe away from her as he realized that he wasn't going to get away without explaining Astrid. He was about to speak up when Donna continued, hands flailing excitedly. "It's like you explained to me, time being all wibbly wobbley, right? It wasn't just last Christmas for you, it could have been years ago. You two popping in and out of time. To think that Gramps met you before I did. At least, in your time line. Not mine. Blimey, but it gets confusing, doesn't it? Don't know if I will ever get a handle on all this traveling through time stuff. Not sure how…." Donna's voice trailed off as she noticed the confusion on Rose's face and what the Doctor felt sure was a rising panic on his own.

"Wait, it was you, wasn't it?" She asked Rose, her voice less confident than before.

"No, Donna." The Doctor answered for Rose, choking out the words as he dropped Rose's hand to rub the back of his neck nervously. "It wasn't,"

"But hold on, Gramps said the woman was blonde," she turned and looked at Rose again, and he suppressed a groan. "An attractive blonde."

"It honestly wasn't me, Donna," Rose answered, a bit sadly he noted. Then she added, with amusement in her voice and a mischievous smile on her face, "There are more than one of us 'attractive blondes' out there in the universe, I'm told."

Donna looked flabbergasted for a moment, then turned to fully face him. "Then that means--," she paused, not quite sure how to continue.

"Now, Donna—," he started, trying to stop her before things got out of hand.

"He was with one of those _other_ 'attractive blondes'." Rose finished for her, speaking over the Doctor and trying to hide her smirk.

Before the Doctor could say anything in his defense or even move to avoid her, Donna reached across the table, a steely glint in her eye, and punched him hard on his upper arm. The Doctor yelped in alarm and a fair amount of stinging pain.

"Oi! What was that for?" he asked, rubbing his arm.

"For months -- _months! _-- all I have heard is 'Rose this' and 'Rose that' and it turns out that you replaced her with another blonde!"

"I did not!" he practically shouted but any additional protestations were cut off by Rose's response.

"Wouldn't be the first time," she laughed and the Doctor shot her a withering glare.

At this expression, Rose at least had the good grace to look momentarily abashed. But the moment passed all too quickly before the impish gleam was back with a vengeance.

"What?" She sing-songed at him, sticking the tip of her tongue playfully between her teeth. "It's not, and you know it."

He knew Rose was stringing him along, that she was confident and secure in their feelings for each other, but he couldn't resist the opportunity to remind her. "Rose," he said, his voice dropping a notch or two in tone, "You are irreplaceable."

She gave him a brief but absolutely divine kiss, and any concern the Doctor still had that Rose might honestly have concerns about having been replaced were washed away. He decided that he could happily forget all else and just kiss her until the universe collapsed in on itself. She pulled away and looked at him with such love and affection that he felt he might spontaneously combust. Then she gave him a cheeky wink and a pat on the shoulder before turning toward Donna, leaning forward over the table eagerly.

"At least, it wasn't _really_ the first time." She said conspiratorially. The Doctor put his head in his hands with a groan of disbelief as Rose continued. "The first time was when we were facing the Dalek Emperor and his fleet. He," Rose indicated the Doctor with a nod of her head, "thought I was dead, shot by an Ann-droid, and what is the first thing he does? Attaches himself to a cute perky blonde, by the name of Lynda."

"What?!" The Doctor complained, lifting his head from his hands to look at Rose in disbelief. "That's not…. I didn't…. I'd never!" The Doctor spluttered but, much to his annoyance, Rose's grin only grew as she continued.

"But, of course, I wasn't dead. And after I come back, and the Doctor's put me to work stripping cables down for some machine, he and Miss 'Lynda-with-a-Y' have this…" Rose tried to find the right word to describe the goodbye Lynda and the Doctor had shared. "This… _moment_. Wasn't sure if he was going to hug her or kiss her. 'Course, all this took place with me standin' right there," she added, pretending to be put out.

"Rose," the Doctor whined.

"Deny it," Rose shot back, crossing her arms and smirking. Rose didn't know Donna well yet, and surely didn't realize the precarious position she was putting him in with the ginger woman. His concern at the prospect of explaining Astrid was paling rapidly in the light of where this "game" seemed to be going.

He apparently was taking too long to come up with a response, because Rose continued, "Of course, they weren't always blondes."

"Now really--," The Doctor tried to sound commanding, especially as he could see that Donna was starting to enjoy this game a bit too much now, but Rose simply placed a hand on his and plowed ahead.

"Our first date, he takes me to see the Earth explode. Yeah, I know quite the romantic," she added at Donna's shocked inhale of breath. "So there I was, first adventure in the TARDIS and sun's expanding, 'bout to kill all of us and what does he do?"

"Swans off with a brunette?" Donna questioned, a twinkle in her eye.

"Well, not quite sure if you could call her a brunette. She was more… oak. But you get the picture. I am almost annihilated by a talkin' piece of skin and he is off chattin' up a tree woman."

"A tree woman? Wait, you mean like a real tree? Roots and all?" At Rose's nod, Donna's laughter burst forth. The Doctor felt a blush creep up his neck and face, which only made Donna's laughter grow stronger.

"She wasn't a 'tree woman,'" he announced, trying to use his best unconcerned Time Lord voice, but failing miserably. "She was an emissary from the Forrest of Cheem. Besides, Rose Tyler, that wasn't _me_."

"Same man, Doctor. Isn't that what you always tell me?" Rose quirked her eyebrow at him, daring him to respond otherwise.

"Yes, but that's not what I meant. Besides, I took you for chips after," he responded, knowing he sounded like a desperate man grasping at straws.

"Which I had to pay for," Rose whispered conspiratorially to Donna.

"That is hardly fair, Rose." He was really whining now, he could hear it in his voice. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"Then there was Sarah Jane," Rose continued, as if the Doctor hadn't spoken.

"Wait, the attractive reporter we just dropped off? _That_ Sarah Jane?" Donna asked.

"Yup," Rose said, popping her 'p' in a Doctor-like manner.

"But you like Sarah Jane! Both of you do!" he exclaimed, interrupting before Rose could continue.

"Not the point, Doctor." Donna answered in a mocking sing-song tone.

"And of course, we can't forget Reinette."

"Oh, I think we could," the Doctor muttered, trying to summon his best "Oncoming Storm" glare. Either he'd lost his touch or these women were immune; they continued on as if he'd never spoken.

"Who?" Donna asked, unable to stop the smile spreading across her face.

"Another _attractive _blonde," Rose answered, her voice teasing.


	3. Chapter 3

At Donna's questioning gaze Rose began to tell the story of Reinette and the Doctor bit back a groan. He knew that Rose had forgiven him but she clearly hadn't forgotten.

"The uncrowned queen of France, mistress to Louis the XIV, most accomplished woman in the world." Rose leaned forward and beckoned for Donna to lean in, "He almost got stuck in the 18th century with her. Not that I heard him complainin' about it. There he was going on that he 'snogged Madame de Pompadour,' while Mickey and me were being held captive by homicidal droids."

The icy glare that Donna turned on the Doctor at Rose's comments caused him to shrink down in his chair, trying to disappear beneath the table and cursing the height of his current form for making that physically impossible.

"Just what," Donna spoke very slowly and coldly, "were you doing snogging someone else with Rose in the next room?"

"Okay, actually," the Doctor stuttered, "she's wrong on several counts. Firstly, _Reinette _snogged me. And Rose wasn't in the next room, she was 33 centuries and about seven galaxies away at the time. _And_, she wasn't being held captive by homicidal droids, at least not yet… not at that point."

Donna looked disbelieving. "No? You sayin' she's lying?"

Rose started giggling and the Doctor sensed too late that he'd dug himself into a very deep hole. "Uhm," he stalled, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand before riffling it through his hair, "no, she's not lying, _per se_, it's just that she wasn't held captive by said homicidal droids until quite a bit after the snogging."

"Don't you be smart with me, alien boy." Donna reprimanded, leaning in toward the Doctor.

"Don't hit me again!" The Doctor quickly added, raising his hands in surrender. "Alright, I admit it. Reinette was not one of my more brilliant encounters. Well, _she_ was brilliant. More than brilliant, actually. More ambitious than she probably should have been, but absolutely brilliant."

Noticing Donna's continued glare he glanced to his right and saw Rose was also looking less humored than she had a few moments before. Realizing that Rose deserved to know the truth of that day, the Doctor changed tack.

"Rose," he spoke softly, "don't look at me like that. You know better." Turning to Donna, and speaking a bit more sharply, he added, "And don't _you_ look at me like that, either. Unlike Rose, you have no idea."

"Then explain," Donna huffed, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. "Because I had to watch you pine away after Rose and watch you miss her so much it made _my_ heart hurt. So you can imagine I'm none too chuffed to hear of you chasing another skirt while Rose was still with you."

He looked at Rose for help, but saw that her eyes were now intently studying the pattern on the table, her fingers lightly tracing the grain of the wood. He sighed, resigning himself to the situation and hoping he could explain things to Donna in such a way as to avoid another punch to the arm – or worse, a slap to the face – and to once and for all put this issue to rest with Rose. Taking a breath he began speaking.

"I was a bit… enthralled by Reinette, yes. When I first met her, she was only seven years old and being stalked by six-foot tall clockwork droids. And even though she was afraid of them, she didn't let her fear paralyze her. She reminded me a bit of you, Rose, actually." He paused to give her a meaningful look and took courage when she looked up at him and smiled softly. "Don't think I ever told you that."

"Anyway, Rose and Mickey and I had landed on the droids' ship and we kept finding these time windows that let us jump from point to point in Reinette's personal timeline. So you see, as far as she was concerned, she'd known me practically her whole life. And these droids were stalking her because, for some deluded reason, they thought they needed her brain to make their ship run. But not her brain from any ol' time. No. They needed her brain when she was 37 years old. Because their ship was 37 years old. Crazy logic, that, huh?"

He grinned broadly and looked from Rose to Donna and back again. The hint of humor was returning to Rose's face, but Donna still looked borderline mutinous.

"Okayyyy," the Doctor said slowly, drawling out the word, "moving on. As I said, she snogged me. No idea why. And I admit that I got caught up in the moment a bit. But that's all it was, Donna, so you can stop looking at me like that. All I've wanted, for entirely too long, is sitting right here with me now."

As he spoke his last few words, the Doctor took Rose's hand in his own again, giving it a warm squeeze. Rose smiled broadly and placed her other hand on top of their joined ones.

Donna snorted indelicately. "Well, I guess if she's not going to hold it against you, I won't either." She scratched her nose and muttered softly from behind her hand, but loudly enough that the Doctor could tell she intended to be heard, "You pretend to be so much smarter than humans, but you still chase your tail over a pretty piece of skirt."

The Doctor pretended that he didn't hear her, but he couldn't help notice the flash of sadness that passed quickly over Rose's face.

"What is it, Rose." He didn't bother with phrasing it as a question. He knew something was wrong.

Rose didn't let go of his hands, but she wouldn't meet his eyes either. "I believe you. I do." She lifted her face back toward the Doctor but still avoided his eyes, choosing to look over his left shoulder instead. "But… after you'd saved her and finally found your way home, you went back for her. You were gonna bring her with us."

"He was going to what?!" Donna blurted out. But Rose ignored her and continued.

"And then, when you came back without her, you were so clearly upset. I never asked because I knew you'd give me your standard, 'I'm always alright' line—"

"Oh please, that's the clearest way to know that something's really wrong with him. He's said that to me a fair few times too." Donna interjected quietly, giving the Doctor a meaningful look.

Rose shook her head slightly and dropped her gaze back to the table. "Yeah. It's like a mantra with him," she said, her voice quiet with a mix of emotions the Doctor couldn't really identify. "I heard him say it more times than I can remember. He just says it because he doesn't—"

"Oi!" he shouted, growing weary of being talked about like he wasn't there and not really wanting Rose to finish that thought. "I'm sitting right here. Would you two care to stop talking about me like I'm a toddler who can't understand what you're saying?"

"Who said anything about a toddler? I was thinking more of an infant," Donna replied unapologetically. "You're well aware that we all know you're full of garbage when you feed us that line."

The Doctor's temper flashed – as much as he loved and cared for Donna, she was flirting dangerously close to line of what he wouldn't tolerate being teased about. As if sensing his ire, Rose quickly spoke.

"I just want to know why. If she didn't mean anything to you, why were you so devastated when she died?" His shock at her knowledge of Reinette's fate must have shown on his face as Rose quickly added, "I mean, I've always just assumed that's what must have happened. I saw the way she looked at you; what else would keep her from traveling with us?"

The Doctor searched Rose's face, looking for anger or jealousy. He was surprised, and relieved, to find only genuine curiosity. He hoped he wouldn't spark any of those currently-missing emotions with his answer. Taking a deep breath, reminding himself that Rose loved him deeply and had fought demons and nightmares across two universes to prove it. She wouldn't leave him over the truth.

"Yes," he began, working to choose his words carefully. "She had already died when I went back for her. She died young, so young, only 43 years old." His voice trailed off, lost in the memory of that final meeting with the King of France. "Anyway, I guess I was so upset in part because she _did_ remind me of you, Rose. She was young and vibrant and headstrong. She wanted to travel and to see the stars, just like you did. And I wanted to give that to her, just one trip, couldn't change history too much. But, that's not even really the reason." Here the Doctor paused again, rethinking for a moment whether his decision to tell the full truth was a good one. Deciding it was too late to turn back now, he looked intently at Rose. Willing her to understand what he was about to say, he continued cautiously.

"She reminded me of you in so many ways," he said, pushing a lock of hair behind her ear and letting his hand gently cup her face.

"You've already said that, Doctor." Rose said quietly, a hint of impatience in her voice.

"Yes. And she died, Rose." The Doctor continued just as quietly. He dropped his hand and his gaze, focusing intently on the table. He was suddenly finding this admission much harder to make than he thought it would be. "I saw you in her and she died. At age 43. It just reminded me of how short and frail your life is compared to mine. And she wasted a good part of the last years of her life waiting for me. And, quite frankly, it terrified me that you might do the same thing -- waste your life on me when I couldn't let myself give you what I wanted to give you."

"And now?" Rose asked. Her voice was impossibly small and full of fear.

Looking up at her he spoke, "I learned my lesson, no pulling away this time."

Before Rose could react their attention was drawn back to the third person in the room, "You great big dumbo!" Donna fairly shouted at him. "The sentiment is touching and all, and I'm truly thrilled you two are back together again, but you loved her all the way back then and you never did anything about it?! I oughtta hit you again."

The Doctor couldn't hold back a frustrated groan. He had just bared his soul and here Donna was taking him to task for it. This had gone on long enough. Yes, he had made mistakes in the past when it came to Rose, but Rose had made mistakes too. If these women were going to take the mickey out of him like that, he'd be sure to get his piece in as well.

"Well how was I to know Rose genuinely felt the same way back?" The Doctor lashed back at her. "Rose was young and vibrant and beautiful. I knew she loved traveling with me, but I figured I stood no chance for any status beyond 'traveling companion'. Especially considering the string of pretty boys she kept flirting with and inviting onto the TARDIS."

As both women's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates at this last statement, the Doctor wondered briefly if he'd crossed some invisible and known-only-to-women line.


	4. Chapter 4

"I did not!" Rose fairly shouted, and the Doctor noted she looked stunned at the accusation and sudden change in the conversation.

"Wait!" Donna exclaimed and the Doctor grinned. It seemed now that Donna was an equal-opportunity harasser. As soon as he'd mentioned the pretty boy skeletons in Rose's own closet, Donna's eyes widened in interest and the Doctor could sense her eagerness for 'the dirt'.

"Woohoo," Donna laughed. "You telling me that Princess here was bringing men onto the TARDIS, without your permission?"

"I'd never. _You_ were the one that invited Mickey on board," Rose protested.

"Ah, yes, the Mickster. Mickety, Mick, Mickey," the Doctor continued with a grin, "Rickey the Idiot." He quirked his eyebrow as Rose rolled her eyes, "What? He was my favorite idiot, and that is saying quite a lot, you know,"

"You invited Rose's boyfriend on board?" Donna shrieked with laugher, interrupting him and clapping her hands together. "Oh, this is too good. I always knew that you were a dumbo, Doctor, but inviting Rose's boyfriend on board is a bit thick. Even for you."

"He wasn't my boyfriend." Rose protested and both he and Donna looked at her skeptically. "Well he wasn't, not then," she added weakly.

"That may be true, but I wasn't talking about Mickey," he replied, a wicked grin on his face.

"You mean there was more than Mickey? Ha! Guess it's a good thing this ship is bigger on the inside!" Donna laughed, clapping her hands in delight at the turn in the conversation.

"No, there was only Mickey," Rose insisted to Donna, then turned towards him, her eyes blazing, "And not even Mickey after I left him in an alleyway to run off with _you_."

"Oh, there was more than Mickey, Rose." He dropped his voice and inched forward, like a cat ready to spring his trap.

"No…" she started, but he cut her off. Leaning closer to her, he locked eyes with her and started, 2012. An entrepreneur. Utah." He could tell by her intake of breath she knew his next words. "A Dalek."

He heard Donna gasp, but ignored her, focusing completely on Rose and watching her cheeks redden.

"Adam," Rose breathed out.

"Yup," he replied smirking. He moved away from her, leaning back in his seat, his hands coming to rest behind his head. If he wasn't worried about Donna yelling about hygiene, he would have put his feet up on the table, but instead he settled for a bite of his biscuit.

"One of you going to tell me who Adam was and what the Daleks had to do with it?" Donna asked, apparently not willing to be left out of the conversation for long. Rose started to answer but the Doctor cut her off, "Adam Mitchell was Rose's first _pretty boy_. After Mickey, I mean. Picked him up in Utah after a run-in with a Dalek. Nearly destroyed the world Adam did, well, not the world precisely, but he could have caused more damage than he was worth. On top of that he nearly got Rose and me killed, and he turned the TARDIS over to, how did you put it Rose?" he asked, smirking at his companion. "Oh that's right, a 'giant blob.' Made sure she dumped him the second we got back in the TARDIS. But oh, he was such a pretty boy, even with the..." he stopped speaking, smirked and snapped his fingers. He grinned broadly as he watched Rose's face turn even redder.

"That's hardly fair, Doctor," she protested, weakly, "that wasn't you."

"Same man, Rose, remember?" He quite liked being able to using the argument she had used with him only minutes before. Rose at least had the grace not to argue. The Doctor was beginning to think this game might not be so bad after all.

"Wait!" Donna exclaimed. "You mean that copy of _The Sun_ you picked up in 2014 was true? The one about the man whose head opened every time someone snapped? I thought you were just picking it up as a joke."

"Nope," he said, popping his p with relish. "That was completely true. I saved it for you, Rose."

Rose looked at him. Her face was still red, but the embarrassment quickly was flitting away. "You done then?" she asked.

"Hardly. I'm just getting warmed up." The Doctor pronounced, rubbing his hands together rapidly and giving Rose his broadest smile. "Next there was… let's see… how'd he put it? Oh yes, you were hanging from a barrage balloon and he had an invisible spaceship. There might have also been a Union flag involved somewhere." He hadn't thought it possible, but Rose was actually turning redder. She had passed deep pink and looked as if she was heading rapidly for burgundy."Jack," she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut, as if she hoped to disappear.

"Jack?" Donna questioned, the grin on her face broadening. "As in Captain Jack?"

"The one and only," the Doctor answered. "Captain Jack Harkness, Time Agent and Intergalactic Casanova. You were quite smitten with him initially." He addressed his last statement to Rose and, as she opened her mouth to retort, the Doctor hastily added, "Don't you deny it. Just because you got smart to his game quickly doesn't negate the fact that he was sweeping you off your feet."

Before Rose could argue or the Doctor could continue, Donna chimed in, "Casanova, huh? How come he wasn't tryin' to put the moves on me then?"

Ignoring Donna, Rose forced the blush from her face and stared hard at the Doctor before saying, "I told you why I was so caught up with Jack. 'Sides, Jack doesn't count. You liked Jack."

The Doctor gave a disparaging snort before muttering, "Not as much as he liked me."

The memory of Jack kissing him on the Game Station jumped the forefront of his mind and he couldn't help wiping his hand across his mouth in an effort to erase the memory.

Donna interrupted once again, practically shouting in disbelief. "And he put the moves on _you_?! What… do I have a third eye or something? I've half a mind to make you turn this ship back around and go have a word or two with him." Donna crossed her arms tightly across her chest and slumped against the back of her chair, huffing.

"A third eye wouldn't dissuade him," Rose muttered before addressing the Doctor again, "Besides, it took Jack coming on board for you to finally dance with me."

The Doctor smiled fondly at the memory and turned Rose's hand over in his so he could trace the contours of her palm with his thumb. "True. Though, admittedly, at the time I told myself it was only to make it clear to Jack that you were off limits. He wasn't the man he is now back then, and I didn't want you to get hurt by him."

"You _told_ yourself?" Rose prodded, a grin spreading slowly across her face.

The Doctor pulled his hand away from Rose's to rub at the back of his neck, mentally forcing down the blush that threatened to creep up from under his shirt collar. "Uhm… well… yeah, I suppose it was really just my excuse to get to hold you a little closer without having to tell you how I really was starting to feel." He looked away briefly, mentally cursing himself for still having such difficulty in expressing his feelings out loud to her. He snuck a glance across the table at Donna. He was still unaccustomed to this expression of his feelings toward Rose and didn't want to make Donna uncomfortable. He shouldn't have been worried; she was very assiduously spreading jam on a biscuit, clearly keeping herself busy to give him and Rose a few moments. Deciding that Donna's patience would only last so long before she started picking on him again, the Doctor took his hand from the back of his neck and slapped it down on the table, declaring, "But if Jack doesn't count then Sarah Jane doesn't count either. That puts the score at 2 for me and 2 for you. Which means a draw."

Rose laughed out loud. "In your dreams! I have plenty more to choose from."

"Name one," the Doctor scoffed.

"Cassandra," Rose said smugly without a moment's hesitation.

"Cassandra?! I never did anything with Cass— wait. Come on, Rose. That hardly counts. I didn't know it was Cassandra. She was in _your_ body, remember?" He couldn't believe he was trying to score a point in this inane game with Cassandra of all people.

"And you didn't notice anything different did ya?? Rose continued, arching her eyebrows at him in a way that made the Doctor feel like she was just hoping he'd challenge her. She paused for a moment, but when he refused to take the bait she continued, "Just let her kiss you right there in that hospital."

"Wait, you kissed someone else? In a hospital?" Donna exclaimed.

"No, I kissed Rose." The Doctor explained with a bit more asperity than he intended. "And, actually, if we're being accurate, she kissed me. Practically snogged the breath right out of me." He couldn't help smirking a bit at the memory of how Rose-not-Rose had looked at him after that kiss. He added as an afterthought, "Messed up my hair something fierce, too."

"Doubt anyone else could tell the difference." Donna muttered at the same time as Rose declared, "Wasn't me. Was Cassandra."

"It was your body and she was acting like you." The Doctor defended, before adding a bit lamely, "Sort of."

"If you try telling me that is the same thing one more time…." She didn't finish her statement, but the threat in Rose's voice made the Doctor back off_._

Instead, he could only look at Rose, momentarily nonplussed before finding his voice again. "Okay, Rose, now you're just grasping at straws. _She_ most definitely does _not_ count. If you will recall, the moment I found out she'd taken over your mind and body, I was the poster boy for disinterested and uncooperative. And she tried to kill me. She doesn't count."

Rose shrugged nonchalantly. "Fine, if she doesn't count, then Sarah Jane's back in. As, she really should be considering she was all puppy-dog eyes after you when you two met up again." She grinned at him like the cat who'd caught the canary and declared, "So I win, 3-2."

The Doctor huffed indignantly, dropping his hands to his lap and staring disconsolately into his now-cold mug of tea. This had started out as just a silly game, but now he found that he didn't want to be on the losing end of it. He at least had to force a draw. Searching his memories, he tried to find some other masculine fancy of Rose's. His mind sparked and he blurted out, sounding a bit more like a petulant child than he would have preferred, "Well, you kissed Charles Dickens!"


	5. Chapter 5

_The Doctor huffed indignantly, dropping his hands to his lap and staring disconsolately into his now-cold mug of tea. This had started out as just a silly game, but now he found that he didn't want to be on the losing end of it. He at least had to force a draw. Searching his memories, he tried to find some other masculine fancy of Rose's. His mind sparked and he blurted out, sounding a bit more like a petulant child than he would have preferred, "Well, you kissed Charles Dickens!"_

Rose simply stared at him in disbelief for a moment before saying, "You have got to be kidding me."

"Charles Dickens?" Donna exclaimed and they both turned back to her, "You mean _the _Charles Dickens?" The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at her, remembering the conversation on this topic during their adventure with Agatha Christie. Donna looked at him uncomprehendingly for a moment before the penny dropped. She let out a little laugh. "Dickens, Christmas, and ghosts. You weren't kidding."

"Nope." The Doctor replied, popping his 'p' as he reclined back in his chair once again.

"Yes, _the_ Charles Dickens," Rose said a bit impatiently. "But it's not important because I did not kiss Charles Dickens."

"Oh yes you did," the Doctor persisted, turning his gaze from Donna to Rose. "You kissed him right there in the streets of Cardiff for all the world to see. Gave Charlie boy quite a thrill -- beautiful young blonde in an entirely inappropriate dress."

"You liked that dress," Rose retorted defensively.

"Be that as it may, it was completely inappropriate for Cardiff in December. And it doesn't change the fact that you still kissed Charles Dickens, so stalemate." To emphasize his point, the Doctor leaned forward, grabbed a biscuit from the plate and popped the entire thing into his mouth.

Rose rolled her eyes and sighed. He could tell she was exasperated, undoubtedly because he was right and she knew it. She took a sip of her tea, set her mug back on the table, and turned to face him. He couldn't help noticing that she didn't seem to think that he was right. It seemed his observation was correct as she spoke.

"I kissed him on the cheek, Doctor. One small peck on the cheek. He does not count as one of my 'pretty boys.'" She make little air quotes gestures with her hands along with those last words before adding with a smile, "You were just jealous that we were doing the kissing and not you."

"Ah," Donna interrupted, finally able to suppress her laughter, "but who was he jealous of? Dickens or you?"

Rose threw her head back with laughter, joining Donna in her mirth. The Doctor knew then that the tables had turned again and the two women were on top. _That happened fast_, he thought to himself. As Donna and Rose's laughter grew more raucous, he decided he needed to get some control back.

"Jealous?" he mocked, cutting over their laugher. "I'll have you know that I have never been jealous for a day in my life, and that is a rather long life mind you."

"Oh come off it," Rose laughed. "Bet ya ten quid you're jealous of Donna."

"Why in all the reasons in the universe would I be jealous of Donna?" The Doctor asked, a bit more condescendingly than perhaps he should have, especially judging by the thunderous glare Donna turned on him.

"What's that supposed to mean, Doctor?" Donna snapped. When he opened his mouth to try and come up with a witty and disarming response, Donna cut him off. "Forget it, space man. You just sit there quietly and ruffle your hair some more. This is Rose's story."

The Doctor started to retort, but The Look from Donna made him think twice about trying to argue. He decided that he needed to quickly find a way to keep Rose and Donna apart as much as possible, to avoid them ganging up on him repeatedly. In fact, now that he thought about it, he ought to keep Rose away from Martha and Jack too. Resolved on his new plan, which involved Rose locked away into some hidden part of the TARDIS, he reluctantly clenched his jaw shut and sat back in his chair. But as he leaned back, he smugly crossed his arms across his chest, a feeble silent show of defiance to Donna's unfair insinuation that he was overly fond of messing with his hair. He couldn't help that it was so much fun.

Seemingly satisfied that he was going to follow her instruction for the time being, Donna turned to Rose and asked. "But, seriously, why _would_ he be jealous of me?"

"You're ginger." Rose stated matter-of-factly.

The Doctor covered his eyes with one of his hands and couldn't prevent a sigh from escaping. He was beginning to wish that Rose's memory wasn't quite so good.

"What does my being ginger have to do with anything?" Donna asked defensively.

Rose smiled gleefully before answering. "The Doctor's never been ginger, and he's always wanted to be."

His hand still covering his eyes, the Doctor spread his fingers apart and peeked through them to find Donna grinning wickedly at him and he only just barely managed to stop himself groaning out loud at the knowledge that she was about to launch into a zealous mick-take at his expense.

"You've always wanted to be ginger, huh?" Donna asked him, and the Doctor let his hand fall from his face, begrudgingly defeated. They weren't in mortal danger at the moment and he didn't have a teleport handy with which to make her stop talking, so he decided the best course of action was just to let her have her moment and hope the experience wasn't too painful. Next to him, Rose giggled and placed what he assumed was meant to be a comforting hand on his arm.

"Always wanted to be ginger…," Donna continued. "Isn't that sweet? You don't really have the skin tone for it, though. And, come on, have you looked at your hair recently? Your head would look like it was on fire if you had ginger hair, wouldn't it? Really, Doctor, you'd look a right idiot. Plus it would clash horribly with that blue suit of yours. Wouldn't really go so great with the brown one, either, really. Plus, it takes a special kind of brilliance to pull off ginger, Doctor, and I just don't think you could hack it--"

Realizing that Donna was just getting started and could quite possibly continue _ad infinitum_, the Doctor swiftly sat forward and shot his hand out to the fruit bowl in the center of the table. He picked up a piece of fruit and lobbed it at Donna, growling, "Have a banana, Donna."

Donna shot her hand out, deftly caught the banana, and tossed it back in the bowl in one swift movement. "You know I don't like them, Doctor. Or is your memory clouded by your jealousy of my shimmering ginger tresses?"

Before the Doctor could reply with a quip that was equal parts witty and sardonic, Rose interrupted. She had both hands up in front of her, in a gesture of surrender, as if deciding that it was high time to make peace. The Doctor couldn't agree more.

"So Donna," Rose turned her most dazzling smile on their other companion. "You know all about the Doctor's and my…relationships," she added with a wink at the Doctor. "So, what about you? Any conquests that the Doctor isn't telling me about?"

Donna's smile immediately dropped and she looked away. Rose clearly realized she'd made a mistake because she reached out to take Donna's hand. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring anything up. The Doctor told me about your wedding and all, I just hoped that there was someone else since then. Maybe someone you had met travelin'."

Donna looked up at Rose, a sad smile on her face. "There was." She looked over at the Doctor, meeting his eyes. "A husband."

Rose let out a gasp and the Doctor reached out for Donna's other hand. She gave him an affectionate smile, and he remembered how "all right" she'd been in those first several days following Lee and the Library. And for a panicked moment, he wondered whether Donna would bring up the events of the Library. But he needn't have worried. Donna simply sighed and gave his hand a squeeze before releasing it and speaking again. "It's been a long day," she said. "I think I am going to head to bed. You two have a good night."

Donna rose from the table, sending him a soft smile, and making her way out of the kitchen.

Rose made to get out of her chair, probably to follow Donna and apologize, but the Doctor grabbed her by the wrist to stop her.

"But I've upset her." Rose protested. "I should go apologize."

"It's okay, Rose. Really, it is." He reassured her. "Trust me. She's okay. Stay here with me. It's been so long. Please? Just sit here with me for a bit."

Rose hesitated for a moment before sitting back down and leaning to rest her head on his shoulder. He put his arm around her and hugged her to him, breathing in the moment as deeply as he could. They sat in a comfortable silence for a bit, each enjoying the almost unbelievable reality of her return to this universe and to her home on the TARDIS. The Doctor glanced down at where Rose's hand rested on his knee. He covered it with his free hand and she turned her palm upward so she could thread her fingers into his. He couldn't help grinning like the Cheshire Cat at the feeling of her hand in his again.

"Doctor," Rose's voice interrupted the silence. "What exactly did Donna mean, she had a husband?"

He held back the sigh that wanted to escape from his lips. He should have known his impossible girl wouldn't have missed Donna's mention of a husband.

"It was another alternate world," he started. "Well, when I say alternate I mean one where she was zapped into a computer along with 4,022 others. Had a real life and all that -- marriage, children, the works. When everyone was restored from the hard drive, she looked for him but couldn't find him. She just decided that he must have been a creation of her mind." He paused for a moment as an idea started forming in his mind. "But the thing is, he'd have to exist, right?"

Rose looked at him, her face questioning, but he ignored her and carried on excitedly. "Lee wasn't just someone that the computer made up for Donna. Each person was real. Real flesh and blood. They were all restored. The children were the only ones who didn't exist!" He pulled his arm from around Rose's shoulders and turned her toward him so he could look her squarely in the face. "Oh, Rose! Don't you see? He has to be out there somewhere!"

"Um, Doctor, what are you talking about?" Rose asked, thoroughly perplexed.

He grinned at her. It was he grin that he saved for when he had a mad idea that just might work. "We are going to take a trip to the 51st century. And If I am good -- and I am very, _very_ good Rose Tyler," he added with a wink, "we will find someone that we might be able to tease Ms. Noble about."

Grabbing Rose's hand the Doctor rushed towards the console room, hoping that the universe would be kind enough to give back a lost love twice in one day.


End file.
